A new Netflix documentary explores the story of Jonathan Meijer, a Dutch man who’s estimated to have fathered hundreds, if not thousands, of children. “The Man With 1,000 Kids” premiered on July 3, and it is a doozy of a show. Just when you think you have a grasp on Meijer, there’s a twist. A shocking reveal at the end of the second of the program’s three episodes leaves one feeling quite queasy.
The show opens on Suzanne and Natalie, a Dutch couple. Before they’d met, Natalie had wanted to have children. She wasn’t interested in the cold, sterile environment of a sperm bank with an anonymous donor––she wanted to meet the father. She looked into a private donor website where a donor would come to her house, meet with her, and, if things went well, excuse himself to the bathroom to…uh…make his donation.
Natalie described the website as similar to when “you want to buy an ice cream and you can see all the different types of flavors and you can choose from it!”
She was sold.
But the first potential donor she met with was not how he’d presented himself online. She was discouraged but forged ahead, meeting with another potential donor who called himself ‘Maarten.’ After her previous negative experience, seeing ‘Maarten’ was like the holy grail. He was handsome, kind, and smart––all qualities she wanted for her child.
Viewers then meet Vanessa, a single woman who wanted a biological child; John and Joyce, who were unable to conceive; and Nicolette, a lesbian who wanted a biological child. As you can probably guess, all of the women mentioned above had children with ‘Maarten,’ whose real name is Jonathan Meijer. Meijer is a serial sperm donor and liar, misleading women and couples around the globe.
Some did notice red flags. His name kept changing, his background was a little murky, etc. But he always had a reasonable explanation and seemed like the “guy next door” who was “so easy to talk to” and “could be a friend.” He told most of the women that he was willing to help five families conceive.
It’s Nicolette who introduces us to the real problem at hand. First, she and a coworker realized they had used the same sperm donor and that their children were half-siblings. Initially, they thought it was a happy coincidence. What luck to have a sibling nearby! Later, a different colleague of Nicolette’s mentioned that Nicolette’s child and her child looked alike. They realized they’d also used the same donor. Ultimately, at least six people directly in Nicolette’s life had a child with Jonathan.
Things like this aren’t supposed to happen. Dr. Max Curfs, a clinical embryologist with the Isala Fertility Centre, explains the guidelines sperm donors agree to follow. Meijer had donated at Isala, and it was through an anonymous email to Curfs that he was initially outed as a serial donor. Working with other sperm banks, Curfs found out that Meijer had more than 100 children from Dutch sperm banks alone. This number did not take into account Meijer’s private donations, both in cups and otherwise.
This is how the story first went public. People wondered how this could have happened, though it’s actually quite easy to understand. As one of the women says, Jonathan was a very good-looking guy. Even John, a heterosexual man, said he’d love for his child to have Jonathan’s “beautiful set of curls.” It’s a tale as old as time––attractive people are given the benefit of the doubt and, let’s be honest, more opportunities to procreate.
Meijer travels the world donating his seed and has children in at least the Netherlands, Australia, Denmark, Germany, Hungary, Mexico, Poland, Romania, Serbia, Sweden, Switzerland, Ukraine, and the U.S.
And he’s not the only serial donor out there. There are many and some call Meijer ‘the lion of MOMbasa.’
The show delves into the biological ramifications of a man having that many offspring, such as genetic sexual attraction or the ‘Luke and Leia complex.’ This phenomenon studies the instant connection one can have with a close relative that they don’t know is their relative. When you meet someone with whom you have so much in common––you like the same foods, you have the same talents, you find the same things funny––it’s easy to fall in love. But what if you have so much in common because you unknowingly share a lot of DNA?
When the mothers get their children together, they see many instant connections. Connections that, if fostered in the ‘real world’ without the knowledge of each other’s parentage, could lead to accidental incest or heartbreak when the truth is discovered. This problem will only exacerbate as time goes on because if one donor has 500 offspring he could have 15,000 descendants a hundred years from now. This creates a biodiversity concern for the human population.
In the end, like so many women before them, the mothers make the best of it. They get together, many flying halfway around the world so their children can meet each other. They also let their children know about the potential dangers of dating another person who was conceived using a sperm donor.
Overall, “The Man With 1,000 Kids” is simultaneously heartbreaking and can’t-look-away interesting.
